HEHBONICS...The Mysterious Language of the Bitchassest Mofo IRC channel
Edition: June, 1997 for Arise Last Update: June 1997[minor update]
Introduction
Arr. The purpose of this document is to provide a formal explanation of the language of the Bitchassest Mofo Channel on IRC. I am a "regular" in the channel, and felt it would be something eleet to do because I'm fucking bored out of my mind, after being grounded for some lame bullshit. Wee.
Logs from our channel will be used to illustrate the manliness of our assromping language.
This document will be continually upgraded for your HEHBONICS absorption pleasure.
CREDIT FOR THIS PROJECT GOES TO:
-LORD HUMONGOUS FUCKING WROTE IT. Heh -FLUD,BUQ,PHATKRO, Ideas, THE LANGUAGE, etc CAIN'S MULTIPLE, SNAPPAR, ETC,ETC BLAH BLAH BLAH, ME, ETC
History and Origin
HEHBONICS[hə-bahn-icks] is an amalgam of the words "Heh", and "phonics", much like "Ebonics" is derived from "Ebony" and "Phonics". Actually, it's more of a combination of HEH and EBONICS, but that's too bad. "Heh" comes from the primary word of the language, the cornerstone of all that follows. HEHBONICS is a result of several clashing dialects, including the notorious "Eleetspeak", "DewdleBoySpeak", and even "Ebonics", or as it is more commonly known, "Jive". The channel that provides a field of evolution for the language is a result of a BBS that bred the first strains of HEHBONICS. Pioneers include Black Hawk, Hellbender, etc, etc, and as others entered, their own vocabulary melted with the current language of HEHBONICS. HEHBONICS is a constantly evolving, all powerful, assromping language.
One fact should be known..Standard english is generally kept aside for completely serious manners...Certain HEHBONICS mutations carry less meaning than their English counterparts. For example, "Phear", "Fear".
"Heh", the Cornerstone of HEHBONICS
"Heh" is a small palindrome with profound meaning. The word's history is not easily determined, as it has gained much notoriety in IRC. Thousands use the word now, and somewhere in the history of HEHBONICS it snuck in and defined the language. It's somewhat of an onomatopeia word, in other words it's a word that sounds like a sound, heh. It sounds somewhat like a smallish human grunt.
"Heh" is best defined as:
heh[hə]: an expression of slight amusement, partial amusement, etc. used often as a midpoint between "whatever" and "well, that's humorous". when used as an entire fragment["Heh."] the word carries extra meaning and resolve.
<lucient> heh, if snl had a good band, this would be a prime episode.
<phatkro> Well does it limit to one finger per connect or can you like spooj ^M's and have it keep returning info? heh
Variations of the word include "heheheheh", and "hehe", and "heh heh heh...". The first variation, "heheheh" might have provided the roots of which "hehe" and "heh" evolved. "Heheheh" is more of a childish expression of excitement, or "I know something you don't know..." The word has lost use in most locales, although the occasional newbie will use it. "Heheheh" is now only used as a form of mockery.
"Hehe" is still used, but it must be used in moderation. It can be used like "Heh", except with mor excitement, and more empathy. In other words, "Hehe" means "Heh, I know what you mean", "Heh, I've been there"...This is very subtle, however.
<phatkro> NO FLUD, EYE LUV YEW
<Lord_H> heheheheh:) [see symbol mockery]
<Lord_H> I CALL "IRC" "ERR K"
<Lord_H> NOT "EYE ARE SEE"
<joemie> hehe
The word "Bitch"
"Bitch" is another major part of the language. The word is rarely used to insult women in HEHBONICS, but rather to insult males. The idea of the word is a kind of "shock"..."Shut up Bitch", etc. See the examples from "Heh" to see the word "Bitch" used in a sentence.
<flud> lord; AWAIT YOUR PICTURE, BITCH.The "ck" conversion
In certain words, the letters "ck" can be replaced with "x". This should not be done all of the time, however, and if the word includes the letters "er" as a suffix, they should be replaced with "or", or for that extra EleetSpeak influence, the "letters 0r".
This conversion only works with a few words. Hacker can become "haxor" or "hax0r"[both carry less true meaning than Hacker however], "fucker" becomes "fuxor". Two other good mutations are "suxor", and "sexor". "Sexor" is a powerful word, it can be used as a verb, a noun, or as an adjective.
Also notice the "e" to "o" conversion. This is also seen in the word "later".
Don't forget "chixor".
Another strange "x" mutation is the word "Penis". Penis can become "Penix". "Anus" may become "Anux".
<joemie> I gotta go. <joemie> lator
<BuQ> her voice can be sexory
<joemie> BUQ: SEXOR WILL CURE YOUR PAIN
<Lord_H> OR I WILL HAXOR YEW
<flud> But I don't want to suxor and make 2 issues, yay. heh.
<Cain_> HB will do it, HB pioneered the art of eye socket fuxoring.
Another "ck" mutation is changing "ck" to "Q". For example...
<flud> buq; YOU'RE EATING HIS BRAIN? YOU SICK FUQ.
"er" suffix words don't work well, don't try "fuqer" or "fuqqer".. That's where "x" comes in.
The "e" conversion
Sometimes the letter "e" can be replaced with "a" to add an edge to the word. For example, Hellbender's IRC handle is "snappar". Perhaps he never intended to mutate the word "snapper", but "snappar" does have more of a mouthful-edge to it. Say it out loud for best results. Another variation is the word "wankkar", which is derived from "wanker", except that the "e" is converted, and an extra "k" is added...The "e" conversion works best with double consonants...snippar, clippar, wankkar.
<snappar> heh Gizman gets pissed at me for saying
my name is snappAR not snappER.
<Cain_> heh
<Lord_H> heh, kill him
<Lord_H> heh
<Lord_H> I will piss him off too in a sec.
<Lord_H> I will use the nick CLIPPAR or something
Another "e" conversion involves the suffix "er" and replacing it with "ah". Some meaning is lost in this conversion.
<Lucian> Yo caink, think, we git these jobs, more purchase powah
The "ing" conversion
The letters "ing" can occasionally be replaced with "on". Not too much meaning is changed.
<Lord_H> YEAH BUT IS THERE A WAY TO MAKE IT SIMPLY MAKE A NEW PATTERN, OR DO I HAVE TO UP ARROW TO INCREASE THE SECOND NUMBER EVERY FUQON TIME.
The "aah" conversion
The sound "ahh" when illustrated with an "o" can be replaced with "aw". Also this applies to the word "all".
<phatkro> Just load your samples into awl the slots you want, this is fuqon rad, heh
The "ooh" conversion
The sound "ooh" can be replaced with "ew" in some instances... The word "you" can become the word "yew", the word "fool" can become "fewl", "food" becomes "fewd". Use it in moderation, and learn your own "ooh" converting technique.
<phatkro> NO FLUD, EYE LUV YEW
"Shit" mutations
The word "shit" can be changed in a few ways. As a noun, it can become "shitzor". It can also become "shizit".
<phatkro> Damn, i wish I was at my dorm, I wanna listen to realaudio shitzor.
<phatkro> Mods can be just as small, just use a shitty sample like adlib uses.
Notice, when literal meaning is intended, he used "shitty".
Conversion: "Eye"
"Eye" is sometimes used to replace the pronoun "I". Weeee.
<BuQ> That's what eye always get
Using "Jizz"
"Jizz" is in all kinds of ways. As a noun it can be changed to "jism", "jizzum", "jissum", etc. The word has been granted more meaning than it has in english expression. It doesn't always literally mean "to ejaculate", or "semen". For example...
<flud> Doccers does, heh. If he isn't jizzing over his page still, he could make a silly arise page.
The "F" conversion
This is rarely used. "F" can be converted to "Ph", but this conversion has lost a lot of its widespread use..."Phear" is still used though. It has less serious meaning than "Fear".
<flud> lord; You have to see the vga interface, but I phear it's too high.
The "o" conversion
In moderation "o" can become "0". Don't do it too much...It's an old remnant from Eleetspeak.
<eye_see> y0 doc.
<phatkro> The singer from Prodigy reminds me of the d00d from sex pistols, I dunno, annoying nasal english d00d
The "Rad" Family
"Rad" generally indicates something is positive, very much so. "Krad" is an old EliteSpeak relic that is generally only used when mocking. "Wrad" is similar to "Rad" in meaning. Don't forget "Radass", "Rad" with more powah.
<Doccers> heh, wrad.
<BuQ> TEE HEE, ATL.IRC - KRAD
<Doccers> FUCKINGRADASS.
<lucient> That would be soo rad.
Expression: "Foo"
Like "fool". Less strong, less intent, less serious.
<terminal> where on earth did you find him
doccers?
<Lord____H> I found him foo.
Expression: "Yex"
"Yex" is a lot like "YES" but it can indicate impatience, excitement, and the like.
<phatkro> Injecting a tennis ball bomb with
gasoline? Heh, uhh.
<flud> bh; YEX. INJECTING.
Expression: "Yeh"
Like "yeah", but maybe a _SMALL_ payload of mockery is implied. This is not always true however, so don't take it the wrong way, foo. BuQ owns "Yeh", so phear him.
<flud> buq - Because you gave out her picture.
heh.
<BuQ> yeh, thats it flud
<Doccers> Yeh, yeh, yeh, so you're sexy.
Expression: "Neet"
"Neet" is a mutation of "neat". Same meaning applies. There's also "keen", which is spelled correctly but can be used in the same manner. [Very rarely.]
<flud> heh, this Veruca Salt song is sorta neet.
The usage of "Uh"
"Uh" can also be "uhh", "uhm," etc. Generally it indicates slight sarcasm, cynicism, mockery, all with very subtle meaning. It can also indicate confusion.
<phatkro> What's the first song he sang on?
<flud> firestarter
<phatkro> Uhh, no flud, heh
Expression: "Hmmm"
"Hmm", or "Hmm." can be used to indicate pensiveness, thinking, concentrating, etc. It's often seen when a question has been posed. It can also indicate boredom, IN A WAY.
<silicon> hmm... i'm kind of lagged.
<Lord_H> maybe i can binobj, hmmmmMMMMMMMMM
Expression: "Wee"
"Wee" indicates sarcasm...See also: "wankwankwank".
<Lord_H> TNT/C4 and weapons grade plutonium...Wee.
Using "Monger"
Although it generally intends someone who abuses power or has control, "Monger" in HEHBONICS simply means MASTER, controller, defeater, etc. "Assmonger" is a twist with stronger meaning and some sarcasm.
<Lord_H> BUT HE WAS JUST AN ASSMONGER
Expression: "Mofo"
A twisted form of "Motherfucker". Once used to mock those who use the word "motherfucker" seriously, although it has gained practical use and meaning.
<BuQ> Well that is what I look like. UGLY mofo, how much do you think I would make? heh
"Wank"
"Wank" holds a lot of power in HEHBONICS. Although as a verb it generally means "to masturbate", it can also mean to attack, deny of service, etc. There are several words that came from "wank", including "wanker", "wankkar", "wankmonger", and a radical mutation, "wanzar". Learn them, and phear their powers. When used to the effect of "wankwankwank" it becomes a cynical expression of apathy.
<wanzz> A mile wide crater is done by like a 3 meter asteroid and wouldn't even throw up as much dust as something like Krakatoa, heh, wankwank, one bad year of crops.
<Lord_H> SERIOUSLY, IF YOU DO, I WILL WANK YOU VIGOROUSLY, AND NOT THE GOOD KIND
Update--Verb Modification
Occasionally verbs may have suffixes attached with little or no reason whatsoever. Common suffixes are "or" and "ass". It seems this is only uses when the verb's participle[its "ing" form] contains a double consonant, i.e. get becomes "getting", so it can become "gettor". Grab becomes "grabbing", so it can become "grabbor" or "grabass". It seems no double consonant is necessary for an "ass" suffix. This is undoubtably a cousin to the common double mutation of "fuxor/haxor" and the the single mutation that brings the word "sexor".
<Lord_H> i have an idea. i'll gettor it
<Lord_H> It already grabasses ram for virtual text pages, viewing, and stuff
THE CAPS CONTINGENCY
Capital letters are used very often in HEHBONICS. Their use requires practice, they should not be used frivolously. Caps generally indicate sarcasm, or a need to make something stand out. They can't be completely explained, but when seen in action, their power becomes evident. Caps can also indicate quotes without needing to use quotation marks.
<snappar> It was INVIGORATING.
<flud> I have a wonderful letter from some friend of mine who is a christian, he was like I WAS ON AOL AND THIS GUY POSTED STUFF ABOUT HOW SATAN WAS THE TRUE GOD, WELL, I DIDN'T EVEN BOTHER TO READ IT ALL, I JUST POSTED RIGHT BACK THAT I'D FOLLOW HIM TO HELL
<Cain_> Velox still can't tell them apart, he's like ICE CAME IN THE OTHER DAY, and I'm like VELOX, DORK, THAT WAS TEX.
<Lord_H> Fuck your parents, you're BUQ, YOU'RE OUT OF HIGH SCHOOL
Symbol Mockery
In HEHBONICS, ":)", "LOL", "ROFL" and other expressions are generally only used to make fun of people who use them seriously. Use them more than once to indicate more cynicism. ":):):)"
<phatkro> THATS OKAY LORD_H, RLOGIN IS ACTUALLY 513 AND I SAID 531:):)
"ROFL" is a stupid hyperbole, and "LOL" is just fucking annoying, so make sure to ruthlessly humiliate who do use them. I have converted entire BBS's to "Heh", it spreads like an assromping virus. "Hehehehehe" is also mocked often, as is "Teehee".
<flud> FILE 2 - ME_AND_MY_COMOUTOR.GIF desc: BOTH
OF THESE MACHINES ARE FOR SALE. HEH HEH.
<Lord_H> heh
<Lord_H> ROFL:)
Using "Romp"
"Romp" gained its peak when Warcraft2 became a well-liked game. To defeat someone is to romp them, whether in a game, or by attacking them through denial of service. "Assromp" and "Assromping" are deviations from the general word...Both add emphasis.
<Lord_H__> EARTH IS PRETTY WELL FUCKED, THINK OF THE ODDS AND HOW LONG WE'VE BEEN WITHOUT A BIG ASSROMPING
<flud> Hmm.. the astroids are being stupid. Just assromp the earth already. heh.
<Doccers> if they hadnt romped the asteroid, it would kick up enough dust to block out the sun for like, *HUNDREDS* of years.
Using punctuation marks as statements
".", "!", and "?" can be used a complete statement. "." indicates finality, "!" indicates excitement, and "?" indicates confusion.
<flud> Alright, PTM is on!@#
<Lord_H> ?
Using "*"
Hellbender brought this to full peak. "*", when used to surround uppercased words, adds heavy emphasis, perhaps sarcastic emphasis.
<snappar> phatkro: I MEANT BURN IN A *GOOD* WAY.
<snappar> HEHEHEHE :) *HUGS*
The use of "!#!#@#@#!"
"#!@#!@#!@#" has been used often in HEHBONICS. Rather than the traditional meaning, as a symbol for profanity, "@#!#!#@" generally indicates anger, excitement, etc.
<Lord_H> So what, media play and werdperfect DO NOT TOUCH YOUR MODEM!@#! BITCH
<Lord_H> flud: WELL ARE WE GONNA PLAY OR WHAT!@#@!q@#:!@#):):)
Using "Erekt"
"Erekt" is a small mutation of "Erect", but it doesn't possess much of the original meaning. It can sometimes.
<Lord_H> IT'S EREKT. IT INCLUDES EXAMPLES, AND IS VERY FORMAL. AND EREKT TOO.
-"Funky" mutants
"Funky" works well with the "ck" to "Q" mutation, although it possesses no "c", BUT LET IT BE. Two mutants are "Funqy", and "Funqory".
<Lord_H> whenever i alt-tab windows sends a
<Space> or something making it play, heh
<phatkro> Funqy
<BuQ> the odor coming from my anus is quite FUNQORY.
Using "Anus"
"Anus" implies either the phisiological anus, the gluteus maximus, etc, but it's purposefully vulgar.
<Doccers> BECAUSE YOU DO NOT HAVE ANY DIVERTOR NUMBERS, SO I MAY TRACE YOU AND ROMP YOUR ANUS IN WITH MY LARGE PENIS.
Expression: "yay"
"Yay" indicates sarcasm, cyncism, disregard, mockery towards a previous statement.
<PrEp_H> Big - Didn't he mention about haxoring are brakes on our cares? That scared me. <Lord_H> Yay.
Expression: "werd"
"werd" is a result of the expressions "word up", "word" and is spelled to sound as it is spelled. "werd" indicates happiness, excitement, etc.
<phatkro> Werd, I'm figuring this out. MUSIK IST MACHT
<flud> nem; werd up.
<go4tFRO> werd.
Expression: "Arr"
"Arr" indicates frustration. "Arr" is a lot like "Heh" in its usage, it's used in the same manner.
<Lord_H> NO, NOT WORKING, ARR.
<Doccers> arr.
<Doccers> arr. I want Number 1 crush on tape. arr.
Expression: "Darr"
"Darr" is used generally at the end or beginning of a sentence, like "Heh" and "Arr". It indicates the mockery of stupidity...
<Lord_H> WELL, TRY SAYING "THOSE PEOPLE'S NAMES", DARR.
Location acronyms
A few location acronyms are used as well, as a method of quickly saying where you are, you'll be gone, etc.
afk: away from keyboard brb: be right back bbl: be back later
No examples are necessary, I hope.
